So you know how when you’re really busy and all you want is just to get home, sprawl out on the couch and do nothing? It always seems like the best possible thing in the world. Then you actually spend an entire day doing NOTHING (much like I have today so far) and your brain is punching itself in the face in an attempt to try and shield you from that slow-moving existential crisis that’s trying to envelop you. That ennui that creeps across your thoughts slowly through the day, like fog over a cityscape through the night. Before you know it, you can’t see anything and you’re in total isolation.
This is pretty much how the day’s gone:
8:30 AM: I wake up. Not the best wake-up. Sometimes I wake up just brimming with optimism, other days there is a hint of dread. Today was one of those days. Probably because I was going to meet with my tax guy today and I’m really scared of losing a ton of money in taxes this year.
8AM: Breakfast, chugging concentrated cold brew coffee right from the bottle because I’m ridiculous in my relationship with caffeine.
9: Shower, blasting some tunes, ready to get to the tax appointment and get it over with.
9:30: Some weird issue with the company that does my taxes, my guy is sick or something. Reschedule. JOY. That feeling when something uncomfortable or scary gets cancelled is pretty nice – at least for now. Chug more cold brew concentrate to celebrate.
10: Start playing video games. Feeling good.
10:30: Man it would have actually been nice to get the tax thing out of the way.
11: Hmm maybe I should go to a meeting at noon, or perhaps Crossfit at 12:30. I should definitely do something.
12:30: Well damn, dropped the ball on that one.
1: Chat with people on Facebook, decide to try and shave my face completely for the first time in 5 years. Get my face and hands all covered with shaving cream, ready to go. Alas, the water is turned off in my apartment. Warning sign from a higher power? Coincidence? I don’t really know but shaving cream is a pain in the ass to deal with without water.
1:30: Discomfort really sets in. Caffeine crash. What am I doing with my life? I shouldn’t have a Thursday completely free, it’s a goddamn weekday.
2: Maybe I’ll try and do some work.
2:30: Welp, I worked pretty hard for that 30 minutes. Let’s play more video games.
3:30: Damn I should go to Crossfit for the 4:30 class at least.
4: It is 4pm right now. Will I go to Crossfit? Will I redeem the day?
I guess the moral of the story is: busyness is the only reason we appreciate down time. A life full of nothing but down time is really just miserable. But when I get really busy with school next week, I’ll think it’s a good idea to do this again. And by 3PM I’ll be rueing that decision, again.
Grass is always greener and all that. I need a job.