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Conversation With My Future Self

1/25/2017

Hello!

So, in an effort to improve my writing, I’m committing to posting one blog post per day on here. My plan is to set a timer for 15 minutes and just write whatever comes up. I’m fairly certain that this domain gets zero traffic and I don’t intend to change that. So I guess my only audience is myself.

Future Me: What’s up t-money? You’re looking real good sitting on that couch and writing your first blog post.

Current Me: Aw thanks man, I appreciate that. You’re looking real good sitting wherever you are now reading this blog post from the past. No matter where you are, you’re where you’re supposed to be. I have dreams and goals for where you’re supposed to be right now, but who knows where my road will lead?

Future Me: I can’t reveal too much. We can’t risk disrupting the time-space continuum. You know what Doc Brown would say about that.

Current Me: This is true. Can you at least tell me where you live?

Future Me: Somewhere in North America. That’s all I can say.

Current Me: Come on man, this is me you’re talking to! Am I still in California?

Future Me: I can’t disclose such information. But I do have some crucial information I want to pass on to you.

Current Me: Ooph, sounds heavy. Is my mother married to Biff Tannen in a dystopian future?

Future Me: Ha ha. No dude, just some simple life lessons that I wish I’d learned at your age.

Current Me: Hey hey hey buddy, don’t talk to me like a child! We’re the same person.

Future Me: Give or take multiple years of life experience.

Current Me: Yeah yeah. So you’re saying you’re from more than 6 months into the future? Are you, like, old man Tyler?

Future Me: Tyler. Once again, I don’t intend to risk disrupting time and space just to reveal that to you. If you’d stop getting stuck on ultimately meaningless information about myself, I could impart some great wisdoms onto you.

Current Me: Hey, speaking of which, how are we disrupting time and space to have this conversation? Is it on your end or mine?

Future Me: I only have limited time to impart life lessons onto you that could change your life and bring about a better future. And you are enthralled by the mundane how and why.

Current Me: Well excuuuuse me for being fascinated that I’m talking to my future self. You’re rather rude, can I impart that life lesson onto you?

Future Me: Really? Resorting to character assassination? I thought that by 25 I had really improved in that area. I suppose my memory is a little foggy.

Current Me: You bet it is. And I don’t appreciate you patronizing me for my character flaws, I’m sure you have your fair share.

Future Me: Sigh. My time is almost up. If I can just say one thing, let it be this:

Current Me: Okay okay okay I’m listening. Go ahead.

Future Me: You have two ears and one mouth. Try to listen two times as much as you talk.

Current Me: Dude. I JUST told you I’m listening. Just get to the wisdom you’re trying to impart on me. This is taking forever, I have to go to the gym.

Future Me: Signing off, my time is up.

Current Me: Well shit, I wonder what the wisdom was.

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